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    A Gift From Below

    ...Topical Battle Verse





    ... as I entered the hidden tomb of the Dweller, the giant mechanized door came slamming down behind me, and the green flames that had illuminated the room blew out, but the Ancient Amulet of Set began glowing ...

    Slowly ...

    I approached the stone sarcophagus with caution.
    It was old. Gnostic. Long since forgotten ...
    like the scrolls of Tutankhamen.

    I grew nauseous.
    The stench from his carcass
    made me sick. I started coughin.
    It was rotten. Almost toxic.
    Couldn't hold it. Had to vomit!
    Broken bones in rows of carnage
    lined the bottom of his coffin.
    As cryptic hieroglyphics
    started shifting on it's surface.
    Some were Coptic. Some were Persian.
    Some were ancient forms of cursive.
    All were curses. That's for certain.
    I was lernəd in the verses
    of the esoteric churches.
    So some text I could interpret
    as I read it with a purpose
    sweat was dripping from my turban!

    "His emergence was imperfect.
    Slimy Serpent who was worshipped
    in the darkness where he dwelled.
    Bringing murder to the Cherub
    as he lured them down to Hell!
    Who disturbes him? State your purpose
    or be burdened by his spell!
    Forever churning in the furnace
    where the vermin burn and wail!"


    "It is I, a humble scribe.
    A man of science and of lies.
    A dark magician on a mission
    come to rid you of your binds!
    Traveled far and traveled wide
    across the seas and great divide.
    I climbed the peaks of Niflheim
    just to reach your ancient shrine!
    It took me ages to unwind ...
    the pagan language that did hide ...
    your location in its twine,
    but with patience I did find
    this latent station just in time
    to testify ... before the alter of
    'The Dayless Ageless Night'.
    To give you life -- a sacrifice.
    In exchange you'll pay a price.
    You'll give me sight and make me wise
    like the Fate that takes the Eye!
    The three combined! If you oblige
    I'll break the chains upon your mind
    and set you free in open skies
    to rain a plague upon my kind!
    So yay or nay? I will obey!
    Just make a statement or a sign!"


    The sarcophagus slid open
    and the torches reignited.
    Then a voice inside my head
    bellowed orders like a giant

    "POUR YOUR BLOOD UPON MY CORPSE
    RESTORE THE AMULET TO MY CHEST
    THEN RECITE THE MAGIC WORDS
    THAT OSIRIS SAID TO SET!!!"


    I obeyed without a qualm.
    Took my blade and cut my palm.
    Smeared the blood upon his skull
    until his face was like a pond.
    Broke the chain that donned the charm
    then I placed it under arms
    that were stretched acrossed his chest
    as if a mummy was embalmed!
    Next I sung the sullen song
    that King Solomon forbid ...
    called the 'Necromancer's Kiss'
    and the second that I did
    I saw Death release its grip
    when his eyes slightly flickered
    And his hands began to twitch!
    As the stench dissipated
    he awoke inside the crypt!
    Tattered robes were all restitched
    and his skin grew anew
    like a cobra in the pit!
    Had a humanoid face
    if you mixed with an imp's
    and a snake's forked tongue
    with 2 eyes that looked like slits.
    Stood about six-six
    and one hundred sixty pounds.
    Razor blade fingernails.
    Gray complexion like a cloud.
    All his hair draped down
    like a blanket or a shroud,
    As he levitated towards me
    at a pace that was profound!

    "The Dweller has awoken
    from a slumber that was deep!
    You have freed me from the dream
    and released me from my sleep!
    And for this evil deed
    I will give you what you seek!
    The wisdom of Tuhuti,
    Beelzebub and Loki!"


    Two dozen centuries down
    40 bodies in the dumps
    I became a president
    by the name of Donald Trump!
    Some people think I'm dumb
    like a novice or beginner,
    but they thought the same thing
    when I started off as Hitler!
    Vlad was a favorite
    and Ivan was a kill'a ...
    but the life I most liked
    was a tyrant named Attila!!!

    ((I'm ill'a))

    Last edited by SELF ACTIVATE; 10-19-2017 at 07:33 AM.

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  3. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by SELF ACTIVATE View Post
    Slowly ...

    I approached the stone sarcophagus with caution.
    It was old. Gnostic. Long since forgotten ...
    like the scrolls of Tutankhamen.
    Welp, you already have me on the hook with Sarcophagus/Tutankhamen

    I grew nauseous.
    The stench from his carcass
    made me sick. I started coughin.
    It was rotten. Almost toxic.
    Couldn't hold it. Had to vomit!
    I find this section interesting (I'm reading this blindly btw
    I didn't skim thru first so everything I'm replying to is first
    thoughts) because a body that old I would imagine would
    be passed the stage of rotting decompositon and would have
    more of a musty smell UNLESS [and I'm guessing this is the case]
    that the rotting smell is part of the story and something else
    is present or someone that was supposed to be dead, isn't quite.

    Broken bones in rows of carnage
    lined the bottom of his coffin.
    As cryptic hieroglyphics
    started shifting on it's surface.
    Some were Coptic. Some were Persian.
    Some were ancient forms of cursive.
    All were curses. That's for certain.
    I was lernəd in the verses
    of the esoteric churches.
    So some text I could interpret
    as I read it with a purpose
    sweat was dripping from my turban
    Love the imagery you created here, (again amazed at how you do this
    with so few words when you write) I get the sense that whatever was
    in this sarcophagus was so powerful and probably evil that several
    tribes/groups or whatever came together and placed collective curses
    to hold it. So that 1 person may not come along and accidentally release it.
    Unfortunately it seems like your protagonist is versed in all of them so
    I sense the impending doom.
    "His emergence was imperfect.
    Slimy Serpent who was worshipped
    in the darkness where he dwelled.
    Bringing murder to the Cherub
    as he lured them down to Hell!
    Who disturbes him? State your purpose
    or be burdened by his spell!
    Forever churning in the furnace
    where the vermin burn and wail!"
    I knew it was coming! The flow has been great thru the whole piece
    but this section in particular stands out. I love how your multisyllabics
    seem so effortless, like 'psh that's every day language for me'
    "It is I, a humble scribe.
    A man of science and of lies.
    A dark magician on a mission
    come to rid you of your binds!
    Traveled far and traveled wide
    across the seas and great divide.
    I climbed the peaks of Niflheim
    just to reach your ancient shrine!


    I had to put a break in the section right here to point out again
    the amazing imagery that's created with so few words. Like you
    said "traveled far and traveled wide, across the seas and great divide"
    so that part definitely describes a journey which I can picture an
    Indian Jones/Tomb Raider-esque mission across the world to find
    an artifact... but then you came in with "climbed the peaks of Niflheim
    just to reach your ancient shrine" and I'm like whatt the fuck because now
    I know the scenery is something similar to the Himalayas, except of course
    it is one of the realms of Norse legends so it's Cold - Misty - Dark - and covered
    in ice/snow.

    It took me ages to unwind ...
    the pagan language that did hide ...
    your location in its twine,
    but with patience I did find
    this latent station just in time
    to testify ... before the alter of
    'The Dayless Ageless Night'.
    And just incase "Niflheim" didn't do the trick for imagery
    you have "The dayless Ageless Night"
    To give you life -- a sacrifice.
    In exchange you'll pay a price.
    You'll give me sight and make me wise
    like the Fate that takes the Eye!
    The three combined! If you oblige
    I'll break the chains upon your mind
    and set you free in open skies
    to rain a plague upon my kind!
    So yay or nay? I will obey!
    Just make a statement or a sign!"
    Oh shit the young scribe here reminds me of Benny from The Mummy
    just greedy af and willing to throw all of human kind under the bus
    for a little power.

    The sarcophagus slid open
    and the torches reignited.
    Then a voice inside my head
    bellowed orders like a giant
    and just like that .. shit's about to get real.

    "POUR YOUR BLOOD UPON MY CORPSE
    RESTORE THE AMULET TO MY CHEST
    THEN RECITE THE MAGIC WORDS
    THAT OSIRIS SAID TO SET!!!"
    whatt see I felt we were in more of an Egyptian setting in the beginning
    and then I felt more Norse because of Niflheim, and now were back to
    Egyptian which leads me to believe I was right earlier about different tribes
    and people had to come together to trap this entity (which I still don't have
    a full idea of what exactly it is, but putting the Norse reference together with
    the fact you said it was a Slimy Serpant I was thinking Jormungand - the world
    serpant? not sure yet though that's just a shot in the dark right now)

    I obeyed without a qualm.
    Took my blade and cut my palm.
    Smeared the blood upon his skull
    until his face was like a pond.
    Broke the chain that donned the charm
    then I placed it under arms
    that were stretched acrossed his chest
    as if a mummy was embalmed!
    I know I'm probably just nerding out right now, but This section has such
    an "Underworld" vibe like how Selene brought Viktor back and as the blood
    starts to seep into him, it starts bringing his decrepit body back to life. Not
    sure if you meant for ppl to think Underworld but I did so the imagery is spot
    on for me here.

    Next I sung the sullen song
    that King Solomon forbid ...
    called the 'Necromancer's Kiss'
    and the second that I did
    I saw Death release its grip
    when his eyes slightly flickered
    And his hands began to twitch!
    As the stench dissipated
    he awoke inside the crypt!
    I KNEW the smell was gonna come back around full circle
    so the thing that was supposed to be dead, wasn't and that's
    why there was a smell. Also I love the details you put into this
    like "sung the sullen song that King Solomon forbid" - that gives
    this a timeline instead of just thinking Timeless or Ancient we know
    that Solomon lived in the 900 BCE area so that kind of gives a closer
    idea of how long this thing has been imprisoned. And giving the song
    a name "Necromancer's Kiss" ... great detail. Makes it so much more
    realistic.

    Tattered robes were all restitched
    and his skin grew anew
    like a cobra in the pit!
    Had a humanoid face
    if you mixed with an imp's
    and a snake's forked tongue
    with 2 eyes that looked like slits.
    Great imagery here (although the Harry Potter nerd in me pictured
    voldemort at first with the snake-like features)

    Stood about six-six
    and one hundred sixty pounds.
    Razor blade fingernails.
    Gray complexion like a cloud.
    All his hair draped down
    like a blanket or a shroud,
    As he levitated towards me
    at a pace that was profound!
    oh nice, more description, so we definitely lose the voldemort look
    at "all his hair draped down" also the last two lines were great pacing
    because as I'm reading all the description from the eyes of the beholder
    and focusing on those details, it's like I'm caught off guard with the
    protagonist here when he starts to move.

    "The Dweller has awoken
    from a slumber that was deep!
    You have freed me from the dream
    and released me from my sleep!
    And for this evil deed
    I will give you what you seek!
    The wisdom of Tuhuti,
    Beelzebub and Loki!"
    and Just like that you brought biblical, egyptian
    and norse mythology together, with the clues
    you've provided throughout.

    Two dozen centuries down
    40 bodies in the dumps
    I became a president
    by the name of Donald Trump!
    lmao what!! I did not see that shit coming.

    Some people think I'm dumb
    like a novice or beginner,
    but they thought the same thing
    when I started off as Hitler!
    Vlad was a favorite
    and Ivan was a kill'a ...
    but the life I most liked
    was a tyrant named Attila!!!
    Oh damn I see what you did here, I said
    the protagonist reminded me of Benny
    from The Mummy but it turns out he was
    the antagonist the whole time. I am impressed
    and not because you never have twists but this
    one caught me completely off guard.


    Last edited by Rude; 10-22-2017 at 08:52 AM.


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