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  1. #1
    Administrator Vlad's Avatar
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    Round 2: Vammy [0] vs. [3] Euniqe - Euniqe has won.



    Welcome to Round 2 of The OnlyOne Writing League!





    Vammy


    VS.


    Euniqe




    Line Limit: Maximum: 40 Lines/400 words


    [Rules Are Here]


    [Voting Categories Explained]


    @Vammy @EUNIQE


    Chosen Topic:


    1.


    CHECK INS ARE DUE BY WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 13TH@11:59PM PST


    VERSES ARE DUE BY WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 3RD @ 11:59 PM PST


    THERE WILL BE NO EXTENSIONS


    @ @



    VOTING:

    * Verified Voters will be the only ones voting. You're welcome.
    * They will be doing one or the other of the following methods:


    An in-depth breakdown of each verse

    -or-

    The categorical break down chart

    * Which can be found HERE


    We hope everyone has a great round!

    Good luck!
    Last edited by Vlad; 12-11-2017 at 04:13 PM.

  2. #2
    An Writer
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    1 or 3

    For the hoes AND the children

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  4. #3
    Rookie EUNIQE's Avatar
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    1 works for me

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  6. #4
    Administrator Vlad's Avatar
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    Euniqe's Verse



    I always wondered what it'd be like, seeing your perspective of the day you decided you'd walk through that door and what the reason was for.

    14

    My my, it's time to fly into some new shoes
    Try to pry the hands clockwise & watch them accrue new views
    Counter it and unwind my mind, sympathies everywhere but rarely used
    I rewind to times I had a nine, was getting you silverware but got cooped
    It's sickening, I was riding high trying to fly to new heights just to help you
    I’ll ride my pride to a defense, they coughed out an offense now a cell’s where I roost
    Grouped up with a clique, thinking back all I wanted was a nation
    Willing to nurture my nature to gain my parent's admiration
    Thought I'd heard words from the heavens, turned out it was Satan's!
    I'm praying on some bedding cause the pains springing up from my sinning
    Stabbing my bladder, my eyes are leaking in silence nobody's listening
    Family's thinking it's easy, do your time we'll be waiting but reliving it ain't very relieving

    16, feeling like Royalty cause the vines from the tree
    Are raising me up, thorns puncturing my spleen
    Watching my enemies feed, blood pooling beneath my feet
    Charlie’s grovelling for shrubbery I'm watering Eden with a ruby sheen
    Cysts bursting, freeing their pressure my fate’s shining with a disgusting gleam
    Juice from the grapes evaporating, sweltering in the heat forced to hear the screams
    Leads pounding through their wrists and feet, spreading from veins to seams
    Fellow sinners raised by trees, our destination will allow worms to feed
    It's not what it seems, everyone's watching only one's sobbing what's that mean
    Your breath can be seen, cause the hate snows in covering the grief
    Teachers witness that glint and fidget they recognize it even if it's brief
    But they ignore it, Romans ensure they're punished don't let the flock console or speak

    20

    I heard your niece turned three that's something I wouldn't believe
    They say you're unique, but your mother's losing grip with realities
    Seed planted by Jesus piece, so you wanna snuff him out with vicious leaves
    Extracted for some juice it'll be a sour treat life's not a movie
    His stomachs slurping up the concoction another street smoothie
    His homies are prowling, searching for your hoodie
    They spot you, extend their hand just to greet
    You meet the heat from their vengeance and collapse in the fountain
    Of your homies tilting and pouring their drinks till you're drowning
    You can't hear your niece calling your name she's growing & learning
    Impacting her future, a day tainted with you leaving the frame
    Enveloped by heavens light, everybody watches but nobody spake

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  8. #5
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    Awards Feel Me, Fam?One Of Us
    My mind is taunted by terrifying visions
    I seen a gauntlet of mortifying lesions
    Fog in my optics, single-sighting illusions
    Boggles even prophets, hiding as a delusion
    It preys on my confusion, it's blight oozing
    My doctor says it a condition, the voices still sing
    They tell the conclusion, the man downstairs is king
    I prepare for regicide, readied for the monarch brings
    He is slaughter personified, yet is he unseen
    He is creates marytr multiplied, neck and bones wringed
    I venture where he resides, armed with torch and a blade
    He is not inside, not in his porch or his shade
    He appeared in the sky, without remorse he invades
    He leers and tries to scorch me and deem me slayed
    I mirror the flames, and ready my weaponry
    I blocked the flames, and changed my enemy
    He tried the same, but he fell immediately
    Before morning came I buried the false deity
    Mourning came and claims of my activities
    They say my ruined memories, caused me to kill a citizen
    I rue these false summaries and I plead my innocence
    I saw the unseen beast and by my blade it's soul was cleansed
    I pray these rumors decrease despite their ignorance.

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  10. #6
    Administrator Vlad's Avatar
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    Vote - Euniqe

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  12. #7
    Rookie OrpheusTheMagician's Avatar
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    Eunique


    I always wondered what it'd be like, seeing your perspective of the day you decided you'd walk through that door and what the reason was for.

    14

    My my, it's time to fly into some new shoes
    Try to pry the hands clockwise & watch them accrue new views
    Counter it and unwind my mind, sympathies everywhere but rarely used
    I rewind to times I had a nine, was getting you silverware but got cooped
    It's sickening, I was riding high trying to fly to new heights just to help you
    I’ll ride my pride to a defense, they coughed out an offense now a cell’s where I roost
    Grouped up with a clique, thinking back all I wanted was a nation
    Willing to nurture my nature to gain my parent's admiration
    Thought I'd heard words from the heavens, turned out it was Satan's!
    I'm praying on some bedding cause the pains springing up from my sinning
    Stabbing my bladder, my eyes are leaking in silence nobody's listening
    Family's thinking it's easy, do your time we'll be waiting but reliving it ain't very relieving
    Prison piece. Hits hard right off the bat. Also that bed spring line is straight fire, my guy.

    16, feeling like Royalty cause the vines from the tree
    Are raising me up, thorns puncturing my spleen
    Watching my enemies feed, blood pooling beneath my feet
    Charlie’s grovelling for shrubbery I'm watering Eden with a ruby sheen
    Cysts bursting, freeing their pressure my fate’s shining with a disgusting gleam
    Juice from the grapes evaporating, sweltering in the heat forced to hear the screams
    Leads pounding through their wrists and feet, spreading from veins to seams
    Fellow sinners raised by trees, our destination will allow worms to feed
    It's not what it seems, everyone's watching only one's sobbing what's that mean
    Your breath can be seen, cause the hate snows in covering the grief
    Teachers witness that glint and fidget they recognize it even if it's brief
    But they ignore it, Romans ensure they're punished don't let the flock console or speak
    More of that imagery, man. These hit the nerve.

    20

    I heard your niece turned three that's something I wouldn't believe
    They say you're unique, but your mother's losing grip with realities
    Seed planted by Jesus piece, so you wanna snuff him out with vicious leaves
    Extracted for some juice it'll be a sour treat life's not a movie
    His stomachs slurping up the concoction another street smoothie
    His homies are prowling, searching for your hoodie
    They spot you, extend their hand just to greet
    You meet the heat from their vengeance and collapse in the fountain
    Of your homies tilting and pouring their drinks till you're drowning
    You can't hear your niece calling your name she's growing & learning
    Impacting her future, a day tainted with you leaving the frame
    Enveloped by heavens light, everybody watches but nobody spake
    Such deep wordplay, I dig it. It's such a dark, sad piece.




    Vammy
    My mind is taunted by terrifying visions
    I seen a gauntlet of mortifying lesions
    Fog in my optics, single-sighting illusions
    Boggles even prophets, hiding as a delusion
    It preys on my confusion, it's blight oozing
    Okay, big dawg. I see the woof, and I pick up on what's being put down so far.
    Nice rhymes, solid start.

    My doctor says it a condition, the voices still sing
    They tell the conclusion, the man downstairs is king
    I prepare for regicide, readied for the monarch brings
    He is slaughter personified, yet is he unseen
    He is creates marytr multiplied, neck and bones wringed
    Nice flow so far, man. I like the image being painted.

    I venture where he resides, armed with torch and a blade
    He is not inside, not in his porch or his shade
    He appeared in the sky, without remorse he invades
    He leers and tries to scorch me and deem me slayed
    I had difficulty finding the flow in the start, but it picked up after the first line.
    I like how you start off with a word with a rhyme in the beginning, followed by a secondary rhyme per sentence.

    I mirror the flames, and ready my weaponry
    I blocked the flames, and changed my enemy
    He tried the same, but he fell immediately
    Before morning came I buried the false deity
    Mourning came and claims of my activities
    Lost me with the flames twice, bro. There was a couple of follow ups you could've done with that.
    I do like what you're doing but around this part, I feel this is where you kinda fell off. No offense.
    Other than that, I like the pick up after that.

    They say my ruined memories, caused me to kill a citizen
    I rue these false summaries and I plead my innocence
    I saw the unseen beast and by my blade it's soul was cleansed
    I pray these rumors decrease despite their ignorance.
    I feel as though you could've done so much better with the beginning of this, bro.
    The transition from the previous line was awkward and I feel like you were just trying to write just enough given that you were running late on your piece.
    With a bit more polish, this would've been a solid read.

    Topic consistency: Eunique

    Entertainment: Eunique

    Emotion: Eunique

    Imagery: Eunique

    Storytelling devices: Eunique

    Vocab, spelling: Tie

    Flow and pace: Eunique

    Rhyme scheme: Eunique

    There was a lot of dope stuff in this battle, I just feel like Vam really didn't give 100%, which is a shame.



    MVGT: Eunique

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  14. #8
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    Eunique

    Damn man, you really upped your game here. Super solid rhymes and inners, and really heartfelt theme and story. Really good showing.


    Vammy

    Vammy, this piece could have been super solid if you had given it 100%. I appreciate you tried to throw something together, rather than no-showing so props for that. I feel like the story could have been a bit more explicit, developed, and a bit of work on the flow would have helped the scheme a lot. Thanks for showing up, though.

    Topic consistency: Eunique

    Entertainment: Eunique

    Emotion: Eunique

    Imagery: Eunique

    Storytelling devices: Eunique

    Vocab, spelling: Tie

    Flow and pace: Eunique

    Rhyme scheme: Eunique


    Vote: Eunique

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  16. #9
    Administrator Vlad's Avatar
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    Euniqe has won.

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