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  1. #1
    Sir Weselion Marghost SirNaerelionMarwa's Avatar
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    Post The Lane

    This one was originally writen for the O.W.L, then again I did not tought it was the sort of thing that goes into the O.W.L. So, I'm publishing it here:


    The Lane


    Sprouting in my mind, in the hour of sleep
    I found myself in a large lane
    In journey’s end a shadow watched me

    In every step I dared to walk
    the lane as a snake twisted
    ‘Till I knew the hallway no more
    And the eye-less snake dared me, gnarled

    More even when I in careless, foolish manner
    A step-back I gave
    The hallway a step back dared, mocking me
    Every night at the clock’s march
    We danced in the dark

    Every night walked I by the same hallway
    Sometimes, getting trapped in between walls
    Not a way out.
    And when I thought I had found my doom
    A step-back to my right path taked me,
    Then I started all over again.

    Many years I did not walked that lane,
    maybe she got tired of me,
    maybe I got tired of her.

    The mere act of reconciliation did never came by,
    as the years went by. I forgot about the sheer joy I had,
    walking the lane

    One night, when the soul was hurted,
    And the mind biased by tiresome,
    I found the lane once more.
    Walked by as an old friend,
    Not as a challenge,
    not a drop of sweat dripped.
    Went by for the pure love of walking in.
    I found that for the very first time I had walked ‘till the end’s-n-out.

    The shadow in the center watched me,
    Standing there, as the light her image blurred me.
    Many years did she waited on the lane,
    Many years I tried to found her,
    I closed my eyes, blinded.
    Amazed by the sheer emotion of my own achievement,
    Only wishing I had crossed across the lane once more.
    I made a step back.


    (Needs polishing, I know. English no muy bueno. Sorry, didn't have time to edit much stuff. Gotta go to sleep. I have to work in a few hours .

    I'll be glad to hear your opinions, comebacks and corrections. Furthermore, I actually do. So please, feel free to speak your mind about it.).

  2. #2
    sultan of syntax wes ghost's Avatar
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    Awards Member of SocietyVerified VoterFeel Me, Fam?One Of UsStaff
    Jose, this is awesome man....wow. I'm going to get you full feedback on this, but I just wanted to quickly comment and tell you how impressive this is. I'm really glad you're here and that you've become such a good friend. Love ya man

    Please keep this up! You have a true gift.







    r.i.p. jonny & luna
    cloak&dagger


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