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    sultan of syntax wes ghost's Avatar
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    you no nothing

    you no nothing

    +

    It's interesting, still, how proverbs read,
    when growing's grown, we've ceased to dream..
    When all is known and learning's flee'd,
    We seem to think we're not in need.

    If not in need, and nothing's true, what's the point of walking through?
    If history's free, but "not for you", what makes you think you're not the fool?
    I've seen the waves, the endless tide....pretentious tips of pearly white..
    Resentment hits: ...you never tried....I mentioned this before you died..

    A philosopher's death!

    The loss of his theft...the loss of his pride...the loss of his step.
    The obstinante man then admits he's inept.

    Still, I'm thrown by the courage it took, so I wept.

    |
    |

    Learning is the key to life..
    ..you'll never win if you 'know' you're right.
    The thing with 'sin' is: don't do it twice.
    Think on what you did. Advice?
    Remember
    so you can avoid
    repeating mistakes,
    then, try to actualize.

    He wrote this all down, then HE started to cry..

    "I'm nothing if not a stepping stone...
    ..what was this pride I thought I owned?
    What of my wit, my needless charm?
    Life is when my daughter grabs my arm.
    Life is in the winds that take us home,
    I'M NOTHING BUT A SOUL ON LOAN!

    ...but that's what makes life worth it. Life is letting go on purpose..."

    |
    |

    It's interesting, still, how proverbs read,
    when all is nought, and all we've seen
    is the fall of man, the rise of spring.
    The law of nature, the simplest thing.
    Funny, really, how it always returns..
    Our lives find meaning in endings. We learn
    that the time we're given is pending. You sir
    are a product of descension's ascending.

    He learned that those who think they're learnt are pretending.

    The accepting of this means you're mending.

    --









    r.i.p. jonny & luna
    cloak&dagger


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  3. #2
    Administrator Vlad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wes ghost View Post
    you no nothing
    ,Jon Snow.

    ------------------

    Think I saw this, maybe even commented on it when it was posted pre-wipe, or maybe in discord? Idk, memory sucks.

    Not going to break sections down or anything like that because a) You dont need it and b) We write very differently in our approaches so things I would suggest wouldn't necessarily be viable advice to how I know you write and will continue to write.

    That said, I enjoyed this piece and the train of thought that it came from. Thought it was well done and had me stopping and pondering about certain things along the way.

    A few standouts for me:

    Quote Originally Posted by wes ghost View Post
    If not in need, and nothing's true, what's the point of walking through?
    If history's free, but "not for you", what makes you think you're not the fool?
    I've seen the waves, the endless tide....pretentious tips of pearly white..
    That last line, though. Ughhhhh.

    Quote Originally Posted by wes ghost View Post
    "I'm nothing if not a stepping stone...
    ..what was this pride I thought I owned?
    What of my wit, my needless charm?
    Life is when my daughter grabs my arm.
    Life is in the winds that take us home,
    I'M NOTHING BUT A SOUL ON LOAN!
    ^Dope.

    Quote Originally Posted by wes ghost View Post
    It's interesting, still, how proverbs read,
    when all is nought, and all we've seen
    is the fall of man, the rise of spring.
    The law of nature, the simplest thing.
    Funny, really, how it always returns..
    Our lives find meaning in endings. We learn
    that the time we're given is pending. You sir
    are a product of descension's ascending.

    He learned that those who think they're learnt are pretending.

    The accepting of this means you're mending.
    I might have added the word 'that' after 'means' to be slightly more consistent in terms of length to the line before it.

    Either way, a solid piece, definitely Wes-ish, and I have no complaints.

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